So I haven’t blogged in ages, life seems to have grabbed a hold and refuses to let me have a minute but I wanted to give an update on the craziness around my home right now. My daughter, bless her heart, started Kindergarten this year, and it has been absolutely awful. For me. She has been loving it, which comes as no surprise because I LOVED school and well she is a lot like me. 🙂 But for me, I cannot stand sending her to school every single day where she spends hours making memories that I don’t get to be an active participant in. It is heart wrenching. It has been over nine weeks now and I still cry when I drop her off everyday – NEVER in front of her, I want her to know just how proud I am of her and how excited I am for her to enjoy being out in the world. I just can’t shake this sadness though. For all of you mom’s who told me “It gets so much easier after that first day.” YOU LIED! Alas, I am a supporter of the idea that children should have some independence, and I am not going to raise a kid who has to have me for everything forever, so I will just keep pushing forward and being sad that there isn’t a stop button on the life timer.
Anyhow, I sent her off to school yesterday and right after lunchtime received the dreaded phone call that no parent wants. Ever. AND I missed it. Yep, I am a stay at home mom, whose only job is to be available to my children at all times, and the ONE time I am needed, I MISS the call. Can you tell I am feeling a bit guilty??? Haha. I was walking to my bathroom when my phone rang, by the time I walked back to it to answer, they had moved on down the emergency list and I had already received the obligatory CALL ME NOW! text from my family, trying to get in touch and find out why I was incognito. (This was literally in a 40 second span!) So I called the school back and they didn’t even need me to say who I was all I heard was “arm. think. broken” I have no clue how I got Nicolas and in the car, the next thing I know I was walking into the front entrance to the school, got waved back to the elusive nurses office and there she was.
The little girl that was knit so beautifully in my womb, my lifeline, my heart, sitting on that nurses bed with such a sad face, I started balling (INSIDE), never ever in front of her because I am the mom – a hero! HA. If I had cried in front of her she would have gone into an immediate state of panic, so I just internalized it like a PRO! They had her arm wrapped in a little brace and ace bandage so I didn’t have to see it right away at least. The principal and the nurse were wonderful, of course they were, they deal with accidents all the time – they are the REAL heroes. But I don’t remember anything that they said either – I was just doing what I could to keep it together.
Kids though, they are so darn resilient, Emileen was a trooper, she had fallen while trying to climb onto a big swing, said she cried right at first but I never saw a tear from her during our whole experience. I drove home, at which point my family (my team) who knows how I am and my threshold for driving, all converged and took over so I could comfort my girl without having to be the responsible one anymore. She threw up in the car, poor dear, and had to have her arm moved around a ton for x-rays, but aside from an occasional – “NO” when she didn’t want her arm touched or moved, she was cool, calm and collected. Not gonna lie, when they unwrapped her arm for the x-rays – I almost didn’t make it, the specialist said I could wait outside, but I recomposed and stayed put, nothing was going to keep me from being with Emileen.
Fortunately they didn’t have to reset her arm or anything, but it looks like a little w right now – there are very few things that I can think of that is more horrifying than seeing my child’s bones not being where they belong. Anyhow a sweet paramedic gave her a temporary cast with bright pink so that had her excited to go to school today to show all her friends.
It was a clean break, and we are going to the orthopedic for the permanent cast tomorrow – Halloween. Worst day of the year for me. That is another story though. Another day.
Ahh rant over.