I stand before you, a woman,
I carried you within my innermost being,
For so long.
I was patient,
I was impatient.
I knew you before you knew you.
I still know you.
I am the part of you that will never go.
I will give you everything.
The wisdom of a lifetime.
And you will reject it.
For you are a child,
I will be nothing to you.
Until you too,
Become a mother.
And then you will see,
You will understand,
And it will complete you.
My heavy heart gasps for air,
As I silently decompose.
A composition of transitional grief and anguish,
That will never subside.
I step forward,
Lead feet dragging.
Into another moment of time to be destroyed,
By an oncoming future of disillusionment,
A lifetime of swarming movements,
A never ending rush of motion.
That ends so abruptly,
And without warning.
As a shadow I carry you with me,
Through my journey of life.
I am attached to you.
As if we are one,
As we were one.
Torn from my side I can only dream.
And stare into the darkness that is my world.
Reaching to you always,
But one can never touch their shadow can they?
A never-ending torment that I will endure.
Because the shadow of you,
Is all I am left with.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
This hostility you feel,
This hatred you impose,
Doesn’t solve the problem,
It only makes it grow.
So while you want your vengeance,
And while it may be sweet,
The aftertaste is bitter,
And will end in self-defeat.
Although you may not know it, you live deep inside my heart.
That bleakest smallest crevice, is where we will never part.
I’ve pushed you deeper and deeper, hoping you will go away.
But all the baggage I’ve piled on, has guaranteed you’ll stay.
The time we spent so connected, I cannot just erase.
Those moments leading up to, when you said you need your space.
I gave you all that you wanted, no questions asked no waiting.
Now its been years and its crystal clear, that your memory is not fading.
The night comes on and here I am drawing on the past.
Holding near the things I find so dear, most of which would never last.
Don’t take from this that I am pining, for you I do not want.
Just a fond reminder that my heart still holds a small deep-seeded thought.